I Am A Fantasy...

I am the object of a fantasy for some guys. There are so many men out there walking around with the fantasy of sleeping with a SSBBW. Most woman would be surprised. In fact, the ones who I've told this to always are. They have been told all of their lives, just like I have, that men have no interest in bedding a woman who is fat. Well, not just fat but supah fat. Those people couldn't be more wrong. If that was the case I wouldn't be approached as much as I am both in person and online. I get hit on quite a bit in public. I have had men follow me and even run after me. I am totally not trying to toot my own horn. I am not trying to say that I am SO beautiful that I am irresistible to men. If that was the case, I wouldn't be single, and I would be out every weekend. What they are most interested in is my fat. Yup, fat. In particular my ass. The boobs help too but it's now my ass that turns their heads. My height and face probably have something to do with it once in a while but my fatness is what they are most interested it.

That is the problem. Some men see me as an object and not a person. I can't tell you how many times I have been approached either in person or online and the first thing a guy mentions is that they like that I am pear shaped. That's cool and everything. I understand that certain things attract people to others. Some people see a persons eyes, hair, smile, height, or even arms as the first thing that they are attracted to but that is usually not what their attraction is centered around. They see those features first and then find other parts of that person attractive. They will like their sense of humour, intelligence, wit, charm, and more which leads to a possible first date or further conversation. That isn't usually the case when I am approached. The men who approach me are so fixated on my size, and how they can use it in the bedroom, that they can't focus on anything else. They will usually ask me the regular get to know you questions but it is usually just out of social expectations. What they really want to know comes out within either the first or second conversation that they have with you. I will break it down by the top five questions that I am usually asked when they feel that they have humoured me enough to get me to answer what they are most interested in.

1. How much do you weigh? This is a question that most men would NEVER consider asking a regular sized woman. Much like asking some women their age, asking a woman her weight is a big taboo subject. It is one thing that woman lie about the most. If a woman tells you that she is a certain weight she is usually 10-20 pounds heavier than she claims. It is really none of your business and shouldn't have anything to do with her as a person. If she said that she was a certain weight would you say that you could no long talk? Well, actually, that has happened. Some men are hung up on the number and will actually stop talking to a woman if she isn't in the 400 or even 500 club. Some men who like SSBBWs are so obsessed with weight that if you don't ride on a scooter on a daily basis to get around, they aren't interested in you.

2. What are your measurements? Much like the weight question, this is also no ones business. This again has absolutely nothing to do with me as a person. I am a very fat person. You can see that in the full length pictures that I post. What difference does it make how big my waist, hips, bust, legs, or arms are? If they are 2 or 3 inches in either direction, does it really matter? Apparently it does. There was a guy who asked me what the measurement of my butt span is. Butt span? What the hell is that? Oh, I'll tell you. It is the the measurement of how wide your ass is when you sit down on a solid surface like a bench. You are supposed to measure from one end to the other to see how wide it is. I humoured him and measured because I was also curious. I didn't even know that people measured something this way. It was all for naught though. He wasn't impressed with mine because it wasn't wide enough. He wanted a woman who was at LEAST three feet wide. Yeah, that is probably never gonna happen. Once he knew I wasn't as wide as he hoped, he lost interest.

3. This should probably be number one since it has been brought up so many times lately but I will leave it as number three. Face sitting. I often get, "I love pear shaped women. You have the best asses for face sitting." That may be true for some but I am not into it. It's just not my thing. It scares the bejesus out of me and because I have horrible balance, I'm afraid that I will hurt my partner, or worse, kill him. It is something that I can't get past. I've been told that I need to do it because it is empowering and liberating. Nope. It freaks me the f*ck out so it isn't going to happen. I am constantly badgered by guys about it. It's like they think that if they keep bringing it up it will convince me to change my mind. They aren't considering my feelings on the matter. Again, they are only thinking about their wants and not me as a person. No means no. Let it go.

4. Squashing. It seems to go hand and hand with face sitting. If I'm not going to sit on your face, I'm probably not going to squash you either. The funny part about this one is that it is usually the shorter, skinny guys who ask about this. They like to feel a woman's weight on them. The bigger the better. I'm sorry, I just don't get how that can be fun, or as relaxing as I've been told it is. There is no way.  Being smothered to death is not my idea of a good time. I know, I know, to each his own. I'm honestly not judging, I'm just not understanding the attraction. But, again, I am told that I need to try it with them because it is awesome and fun, I'll like it. Really, I just have to try it with them. They'll change my mind... Guess again.

5. How much do you eat? Enough to keep me alive. Also, apparently enough to keep me fat. I will settle this right now. I am a Feeder's nightmare. Seriously. I eat slow and I get full before I am done most of the time. I was at dinner with a friend a couple of weeks ago. She said, "Lors, how can you eat so slow? You've always been like that." We've known each other for 16 years. This shouldn't be surprising but it surprises her every time and others who I happen to have dinner with. They think that I could eat a whole pizza by myself in one sitting. Erm, no. I can eat but not like that. I have been known to make a pig of myself, but hasn't everyone? If I have a big meal it means that I haven't eaten that day and probably won't after. I have never been a person to have a midnight snack. I couldn't do it because it would make me feel so uncomfortable that I wouldn't be able to sleep. When I was in Vegas, I went to lunch with a skinny guy. We ate at a restaurant known for it's huge platter plate portions. I was able to eat maybe half of my biscuits n'gravy (first time I've ever had it and it was AWESOME!). He on the other hand cleaned his plate. Where the hell did it go? How is he not fat and I am? I really don't get it. I have been asked several times if I could eat a whole cheesecake at one time. Um, WHAT? Who the hell can eat a whole cheesecake at one time? If you can, I'm impressed. I would start puking 2 pieces in. That's if I could get to the second piece. Like I said, Feeder's nightmare.

This is the main reason why I think that I am still single. I am not willing to be a tool that a guy uses to fulfill his fetish or fantasy. I am a human being who deserves to have what everyone wants. I want to get married, have kids, be loved, and happy just like everyone else. I want someone who wants to be with me because they love everything about me and don't just see the fat. I'm starting to wonder if I will ever find that though. It has become so tedious and daunting that I am seriously thinking about giving up on all of my online dating profiles. I'm just wondering, is really worth the crap I have to go through to keep them?....

XOXO

Lors :o)